I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
