He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
