escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
