We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wanna go halves on a baby?
i would punch a child for taco bell
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
