What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
