Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
