I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
