She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
