This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
