I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
In America we eat man semen.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
