my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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