so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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