I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
