babies were throwing up all over the place
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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