When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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