This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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