He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
