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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you will always have a special place in my vag
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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