I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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