The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
