I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
