The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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