Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
