she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
