so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why do cheetos always look like penises
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
