I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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