They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
