there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So much rum. So many feels.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
