i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
