There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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