I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
