Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
