It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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