Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
