He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
