You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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