I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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