You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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