dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
