On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
