Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
