we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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