The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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