It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
