My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
