Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
