Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
