i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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