need another drink. this is the easiest way
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
