worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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