It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
